Avec Christmas, Easter is one of the times of year when we stuff ourselves with chocolate. However, if you’d prefer a less platonic alternative, you can also use it as an excuse to combine sex and chocolate.
Of course, they want to sell us chocolate in every shape and form… Rabbits, hens, chicks, eggs… But for a bit of variety, adults can also get their hands on sex-themed chocolate.
Genitals, sexual practices or sex toys, nothing is off limits to erotic chocolatiers, much to the delight of our eyes and taste buds.
Maybe you go on an egg hunt in your garden every year. Or maybe the prospect of the bells having buggered off to Rome to bring you treats seems ridiculous. Either way, sexy chocolate won’t leave you unmoved.
The chocolate sex toy
This year, Dorcel has teamed up with chocolatier Joséphine Vannier (a Parisian chocolate shop in the Marais district, Google tells me – Parisian readers, I’m probably not telling you anything you don’t know) to create a chocolate dildo. Or rather, a chocolate replica of a Dorcel vibrator, the Silver Star.
It’s not a real sex toy. Well, you can do what you like with it, but inserting a sugary foodstuff can give you infections. But you can clearly see what it’s meant to be, it’s tasty, and rather nicely presented.
The Silver Star and its chocolate replica, in their respective packaging
It’s a shame they didn’t choose a model with a more suggestive shape. I’d have been more than happy to take a bite out of a realistic dildo, an anal plug, or an Easter rabbit…
This confection combining sex and chocolate isn’t exactly cheap. It costs nearly 25 euros, which is 10 more than the sex toy whose appearance it imitates.
The Silver Star, a Dorcel vibrator that inspired the chocolate “dildo”
The chocolate anus
If you’ve never heard of chocolate anuses, you managed to stay out of the clickbait press last year…
Since then, the Edible Anus shop has diversified, also selling bronze, silver and crystal anuses (illuminated, no less), anus rings, and postcards that poo.
The chocolate penis
As far as erotic confectionery classics go, there’s the chocolate penis.
You can find them in all sorts of forms, from an almost realistic sculpture capable of “ejaculating” sweet cream to a minimalist willy in the “two balls and a stick” style…
Among other chocolate cock treats, there are the pussy lollipops from SinfulSweetsNJ on Etsy… From the “classic” phallic lollipop to one being wanked by a manicured hand, via a penis in a suit, there’s something for everyone…
The chocolate pussy
Let’s be precise about the terminology: this edible object should be called a “chocolate vulva”, not a “chocolate vagina” (a mistake people make far too often: the vagina is the inside)!
At Lagusta’s Lucious, where they point out the difference between these two organs, you can buy Furious Vulvas:
Whereas on Etsy, SinfulSweetsNJ has got the word wrong, but makes vulvas in pink or gold, with flavoured white chocolate.
Other things combining sex and chocolate
- Naughty pastry chef: little willies, little pussies, breasts, and Kama Sutra positions, in chocolate or marzipan.
- La Grange aux truffes, “For adults” section: pretty much the same thing (just the chocolate version).
- Kama Sutra chocolates from the Canadian shop Climax Chocolate.
- More Kama Sutra, but with golden highlights.
- Some body painting au chocolat (I know this is off topic, but I’ve just discovered body paint in arôme “caramel au beurre salé”. Where are the crêpes?).
