What are the best dildos you can get your hands on? We’re going to try to answer that question.
We’ve been testing sex toys for several years now, and we’ve tested nearly two hundred pleasure products.
However, telling you what we think of one particular sex toy is all well and good, but if you’ve just arrived on this blog, or you want some advice on choosing a sex toy without necessarily having to (re)read 36 of our articles, you might be looking for something a little shorter.
That’s why I’ve decided to put together a brief roundup of the best sex toys you might want to buy, depending on your budget and preferences. A sort of buying guide.
Let’s start with the most “classic” category of sex toys: dildos.
What’s the ideal dildo to buy in 2018? That’s subjective, but some sex toys really do stand out from the crowd.
Here’s a round-up of the best dildos to choose from, by type and price range.
What should you expect from a dildo?
What should you expect from a dildo, at the very least?
A sex toy that’s safe for your body
The first essential point: it must pose no danger to your body.
- No dodgy chemical materials.
- And no risk of it getting stuck somewhere the sun doesn’t shine, if it’s designed for that use.
That’s the bare minimum, and we shouldn’t even have to say it… But many sex toys currently on the market are ruled out on this criterion alone.
… And odourless
The second point, which often goes hand in hand with the first: it must be odourless and must not deteriorate all by itself over time.
It’s 2018! Even on a tight budget, you shouldn’t have to put up with a dildo that smells like a petrochemical plant or melts all by itself in your drawer.
Some sex toy materials don’t seem to pose any danger to the body (at least, none that’s been proven), but they’re still porous, smell bad and often break down faster. When it comes to dildos, there’s plenty of choice. So unless you’re after something really ultra-specific, it’s best to avoid them.
So the materials we’ll be choosing from are:
- For soft textures: silicone, the most common material for a quality sex toy.
- For firm textures: stainless steel, glass, ceramic and wood.
Then there are the criteria of shape, texture, size… It all depends on how you want to use it and how much you have to spend.
The best texture: Vixen Creations dildos
When it comes to texture, the best dildos we’ve had the chance to test are, without a second’s hesitation, the Vixen Creations dildos, with their patented dual-density silicone. Firm on the inside, soft on the outside, and smooth on top… In short, you’d think you were dealing with a real penis. If you’re looking to imitate the “natural” feel, this is the one.
We’ve tested two: the Goodfella, a model with testicles, and the Johnny, a larger model. These two “realistic” sex toys have a permanent place on my bedside table (along with an “extender” sleeve, the Colossus, which lives up to its name, but that’s straying from the subject of this article).
Although Vixen Creations’ speciality is the “realistic” dildo, if you prefer something more colourful and playful, Vixen’s Mustang is also available in a rainbow tie-dye version.
Where can you find them? Vixen dildos took a long time to make it to France, but the Lovehoney shop now has quite a few of them in its catalogue.
Granted, they do make your wallet wince a little (the Goodfella and the Johnny cost 135 euros), but the quality really does live up to the price, and a more affordable model in VixSkin, plain black, the Mistress (which costs 70 euros), has recently come out.
Other brands have also tried their hand at dual-density silicone, such as Tantus with the Gary O2 and the Max O2, but although the result is really nice, I find it less refined.
The best dildos for G-spot stimulation
If you’re looking for a dildo specifically designed for G-spot stimulation, you’ll need to choose one with a fairly pronounced curve. Ideally, it should be quite firm, too.
The Pure Wand: an essential G-spot dildo
Among the “classics”, there’s the essential Pure Wand, a heavy steel dildo with a curve that allows you to rock it back and forth, stimulating the G-spot beautifully with either of its two rounded ends. The Pure Wand is probably one of the best G-spot dildos of all time.
A much cheaper alternative, but in a similar style: Lovehoney’s Desire dildo, which is shorter but even heavier.
Glass G-spot dildos
When it comes to glass sex toys, you can easily find very effective G-spot dildos at affordable prices. I’d have happily recommended Glassvibrations’ Purple Lover, which we’ve tested, but it’s now quite difficult to find (apart from on Amazon, but for various reasons I’ll probably explain one day in an article, buying a sex toy on Amazon isn’t necessarily a good idea).
As alternatives, I’d list Pipedream’s Icicles n°69 and n°70 and — it’s a bit embarrassing, but it’s well made and really cheap, probably because, well, it’s a bit embarrassing — the Drive Me Crazy from the Fifty Shades of Grey collection.
At a higher price point, with its surprising combination of glass and silicone, Jopen’s Comet Wand offers some very interesting sensations. It’s quite similar to the Pure Wand, but with a different texture.
And finally, when it comes to wooden sex toys, Idée du Désir’s Orchidée is an essential choice for G-spot stimulation. It’s incredibly effective, but it’s also beautiful, 100% handcrafted and Made in France. In terms of price, expect to pay between 80 and 95 euros, depending on the model. But for an erotic sculpture made entirely by hand, which you’ll be able to keep indefinitely, you won’t regret buying it.
The best dildos on a tight budget
Even on a modest budget, you don’t have to settle for some rubbish dildo straight out of the 90s.
When it comes to flared-base dildos (for a harness, to stand upright, or for anal use without putting your backside at risk), Fun Factory’s Boss and Tiger are classic, understated and do the job well.
You can also find some very decent stuff at low prices from Malesation. However, when it comes to the Malesation dildo we tested, the Robbie, its texture wasn’t quite as good as Fun Factory’s.
Still in silicone, but in a different style, there’s also Dorcel’s So Dildo: personally, I wasn’t a fan of it, as it looked too much like a “pink sausage” to me, but other people like it.
When it comes to glass dildos, beyond the few models I’ve mentioned in the previous section, there’s plenty of choice, and at very reasonable prices. I’d particularly mention Pipedream’s Icicles range, as well as the Gläs and Chrystalino brands, but they’re not the only ones.
Just avoid the things that don’t look like they’re made from a single piece, or that have parts that are too thin, as they tend to be more fragile.
In a future article, I’ll be looking at choosing and buying another category of sex toys: vibrators.
Need more specific advice? Think your favourite sex toy deserves a place in this buying guide? Don’t hesitate to let us know in the comments.
