Here’s the eleventh edition of the sex toy gazette, featuring a sex toy that orders you a pizza, a banana vibrator, exercise in smart briefs, and a little reading to help you digest.
A sex toy that orders a pizza
Adult webcam platform CamSoda announces the launch of the RubGrub, an accessory that will let your sex toy order you a pizza.
More specifically, the RubGrub is a button (similar to Amazon’s Dash Button) that attaches to the base of the Lovense Nora connected rabbit from Lovense, and connects to your smartphone via Bluetooth. Once you’ve finished masturbating, you press the RubGrub, and it orders you a large pizza through the Domino’s Pizza app. Of course, you’ll need to have set up your favourite order and payment details in advance.
And what if you’d rather use the pizza place round the corner? Or have salmon sushi? Tough luck: initially, the RubGrub, which is due to launch in spring and will cost 19 dollars and change, will only be compatible with Domino’s Pizza. The restaurant chain, whose spokesperson has officially commented on the matter, has nothing to do with this affair, and is actually rather unhappy to find itself associated with a sex toy.
Will the RubGrub work in France? An existential and vital question… Well, first off, are they really planning to release this thing, or is it just a gag to generate some cheap buzz?
Crowdfunding for a banana-penis vibrator
… Huh?.. A what?
A new record in bad taste has been set by the Banana Sdick, a “realistic” phallic vibrator hidden inside a banana.
Its slogan: “What could possibly be suspicious about a banana?”. Yes, of course, what could be more discreet than a banana-cock sex toy? Why hadn’t I thought sooner of discreetly leaving a few banana-cock-shaped sex toys lying around in a fruit bowl, so I could be truly incognito when I have guests over? It would go nicely with my aubergine dildo, wouldn’t it?
Proof: this woman, amazed by how discreet the Banana Sdick is, is convinced it’s a phone.
Strangely, the Indiegogo project to fund this pleasure product, as subtle as it is aesthetically pleasing, received no funding.
Smart briefs
The Skiin brand is launching a range of smart connected underwear – and washable ones, too. If, like me, you were wondering, apparently having a connected bum won’t mean your pants have to stink.
There’s something for everyone. Smart knickers come in various styles – bikini, boyshorts or thong – and a range of colours. There’s also a smart bra, and for men, a pair of smart boxer shorts and briefs.
The smart underwear comes with a whole host of sensors. They monitor heart rate, physical activity, sleep, breathing, temperature, posture (for the bra only), and hydration and body fat levels.
This data is then used by an app, which can (according to the promotional video, anyway) act as your personal trainer, adjust your boiler, or notify your partner so they can comfort you if your stress levels spike. Alternatively, you could just communicate, rather than relying on your smart briefs to do it for you. And you could avoid spending 300 on a pack of four pairs of pants.
That said, if the advert is true to life, the smart knickers seem pretty well put together overall. Worth checking…
