Here’s the ninth edition of the sex toy gazette, with Christmas fetishism, parody porn, plenty of vaginas, carp, and other stuff.
Christmas festivities and sex
The Santa Claus fetish
The Santa Claus fetish: from Santa Claus-themed sex toys to the erotic books devoted to him, the bearded wintery chap inspires fantasies. But why? Metro.co.uk explains the reasons behind this attraction.
Sexy calendars, carp and barbecues
December is the time of year when next year’s calendars sell like hot cakes. Among them, you’ll find some strange themes, including the erotic carp fishing calendar, and the sexy barbecue calendar.
Women in skimpy outfits, fish and kebabs—what more could you want for 2018? I want a calendar with naked men and celery.
A porn parody of Donald Trump
We already knew about Americans’ interest in their president’s sex life, thanks to the Obama dildos and Donald Trump sex toys. A porn parody was therefore the logical next step in this craze.
And anyway, what’s it like to play Donald Trump in a porn parody? Actor Evan Stone tells us.
On the teledildonics front: more glitches
A bug was found in the Lovense sex toy app: it was recording users without their knowledge. The audio files ended up being stored on the sex toy owner’s smartphone (better than if they’d been sent to all your contacts, but still not great). The brand announced that the bug, reported on Reddit by a user who discovered it by chance, had been fixed.
Svakom, We Vibe, Lovense… That’s starting to add up to quite a lot of connected sex toys that are a bit dodgy when it comes to security or data storage. Should we panic? Or just bear in mind that a connected device can always have vulnerabilities and be hacked, and, just to be on the safe side, avoid singing your bank card number to your sex toy?
Sex dolls and sex robots
A Vice report on Bordoll, Germany’s first brothel specialising in sex dolls.
On the robotics front, we know a little more about Harmony, the artificial intelligence behind RealDoll’s sex robots.
The app will cost 20 dollars a year by subscription, while the robot head (to be fitted onto a RealDoll) will cost around 10,000 dollars.
Vulvas, clits and vaginas
In the “pussies being messed with” department: cosmetic vulva surgery is booming. We’re not talking about reconstructive surgery to correct abnormalities and damage caused by accidents or illness, but labiaplasty: an operation that shortens the lower lips so that the vulva looks more like a Barbie doll’s.
Still on the same subject: most vaginal tightening products don’t work. If you want a healthy vagina that can squeeze whatever you like putting inside it, there’s no miracle cure: you have to exercise it. Kegel exercises and, if you like, geisha balls help strengthen the perineum, the muscle that holds the whole lot in place.
If people keep wanting to do vaginas harm, they’ll end up defending themselves. By biting, for instance. When pussies have teeth: the vagina dentata myth around the world.
To cheer pussies up, you have to give them kisses. So here’s a cunnilingus tutorial that reads like a recipe, by Maïa Mazaurette.
Now, a little vocabulary lesson: why do we call a pussy a pussy? Agnès Giard traces the history
And finally, street art celebrating the clitoris, on the Clitorosity Instagram account.
