The beginning of January is the time for retrospectives and round-ups. So we decided to bring together the best sex toys tested on Objets de Plaisir last year. And the worst ones too, because sex toy tests sometimes throw up some nasty surprises.
If they feel like it, those feeling nostalgic can also take a look at our best-of of the sex toys tested on this blog the previous year. Here we go with some top-notch sex toys!
The best sex toys: best clitoral vibrator
The Fairy, in its Lithium and Mini versions, is the ideal combination of thunderous power and dimensions that remain reasonable.
Fairy Mini or Fairy Lithium? The former is a little more powerful but has a cord, while the latter is rechargeable. Between the two, my clit heart is torn, so they end up in a tie.
The best sex toys: best G-spot vibrator
The Lelo Gigi 2, small but powerful, makes it easy to stimulate the G-spot effectively without having to faff about with complicated techniques. And it’s good quality, and rather cute.
The best sex toys: best dildo
The Fun Factory Tiger, with its lovely ridges, pleasant texture and, above all, flat suction-cup base, which lets it stand upright on any flat surface, wins the title of best dildo tested on Objets De Plaisir in 2013.
The best sex toys: best rabbit vibrator
We haven’t tested many rabbit vibrators this year, so the Sexy Bunny 2 wins this title without much glory. It’s an effective sex toy, rather nice and not too expensive, which, while not exactly mind-blowing, is still worth a look.
The best sex toys: best mini vibrator
Even though it isn’t much different from the original Mia, the Lelo Mia 2 is the best mini vibrator we’ve come across in 2013.
The best sex toys: best masturbator
The Fleshlight Katsuni, from the Fleshlight Girls range, with its soft, “realistic” texture, wins the title of best male masturbator tested on Objets de ¨Plaisir in 2013.
The best sex toys: best anal plug
The Njoy Pure Plug is an attractive, hygienic, safe anal plug, and above all, a very comfortable one. I wouldn’t hesitate to award it the title of best anal plug tested on this blog in 2013.
Best harness
The Bella harness by SpareParts Hardwear is particularly easy to handle, comfortable, and pretty as a picture. My favourite harness in 2012 was the Joque, from the same brand. The Bella takes over from it as the best harness of 2013.
Best sex toy that defies categorisation
The Stronic Drei isn’t strictly speaking a vibrator. It’s a “pulsator”, a new type of sex toy created by Fun Factory, of which there are currently just three models: the Eins, the Zwei and the Drei.
Eins, Zwei, Drei—“one, two, three” in German. Their names are about as original as those of the Three Little Pigs, but that doesn’t stop the Stronics from being particularly great. The Stronic Drei is my favourite.
Prettiest sex toy
Among the sex toys tested here in 2013, there are quite a lot of pretty things.
I’d award first place to the Teufelszunge (“devil’s tongue” in German), by Glassvibrations, which looks as if it came straight out of an epic fantasy story.
The Rosebuds Cristal deserves second place, with its rainbow of multicoloured reflections.
Most original sex toy
La Tour est Folle, a sex toy made in France and modelled on the Eiffel Tower, is without a doubt the most original sex toy of 2013.
An honourable mention goes to the SelfDelve Aubergine, a silicone vegetable sex toy that changes colour with the temperature.
Most powerful vibrator
The Europe Magic Wand, a European-standards-compliant remake of the famous Hitachi Magic Wand, is the most heavy-duty of the ultra-powerful vibrators we’ve tested.
Most high-tech sex toy
The VStroker lets users interact with a porn film using the tip of their penis, via a Fleshlight with this accessory screwed onto it.
Most disappointing male sex toy
This title goes without hesitation to the Mojo Stimulator. And here’s why: it looks nice, sure, but… What exactly are you supposed to do with this sex toy?
A hollow tube five centimetres in diameter, whose sides most penises won’t touch, fitted with beads that stop moving because the motor is too weak if you dare press down on them even a tiny bit. Fail! This masturbator simply doesn’t work.
Most disappointing female sex toy
The Tenga Iroha looked quite promising. The first product for women from Tenga, a brand that has proved itself in the field of male masturbators, it had a rather nice design… I was expecting a great sex toy.
But it broke after the first use, unable to withstand washing. It was supposed to be “waterproof”, but no such luck! When I performed an autopsy on the thing, I came face to face with some pretty cheap mechanisms—far too cheap for a sex toy costing over 80 euros… It’s all very well focusing on the marketing around the product, but Tenga would have been better off paying more attention to the build quality.
And what about you, which sex toys are your favourites?
