The shop Lovely Vibes sent us a DVD titled “Endless Shades of Great Sex : a Bondage Guide for Lovers”.
When I read this title, I first thought it was video bondage lessons. My preconception turned out to be wrong, as it is actually an erotic fiction (very) inspired by Fifty Shades of Grey, made for “instructive” purposes. This fiction tries to give beginners an insight into what soft BDSM is, and ideas of practices to try.
This is our first “test” (uh… our first “review”?) of a film with people completely naked. So don’t hesitate to tell us what you think about it.
The cover
We’re not going to spend a thousand years on the cover: it’s the film we’re interested in.
But let’s still note that it clearly evokes the three volumes of Fifty Shades of Grey. It brings together:
- The tie from the cover of Fifty Shades of Grey,
- The mask from the cover of Fifty Shades Darker,
- The handcuffs from the cover of Fifty Shades Freed… with a key that’s a bit less cute.
On the back, in English, they explain why BDSM and bondage are lovely, and we’re told we’ll learn to dominate or be dominated, discover whips, handcuffs and all the accessories intended for couples, and realise all our fantasies by taking inspiration from our favourite books. Anyway, by our “favourite books”, the cover is of course referring to the Fifty Shades of Grey series… which I haven’t read, while He did take the trouble to read the first chapters as an e-book. He didn’t like it, by the way, and abandoned the reading.
The advice
The video is produced by the Alexander Institute, a company specialised in “erotic films with an informative purpose”, which boasts being equipped with a team of experts in sexuality, some of whom go so far as to possess a doctorate (in exactly what?..).
Mmm… I can’t help being perplexed by the argument “Hi, do you want to see my sexologist?”. But for those who are interested, there are some relatively well-known names in this institute’s roster, such as Betty Dodson, who even has her own Wikipedia page. On this DVD, it will be the advice of Patti Britton, whom I had never ever heard of before, but who apparently has a well-filled CV in the field of sexology.
The advice in question is only in text format (with a French version), in two parts:
- A glossary section, with the same definitions as on this page. “Vagina”? What could this word possibly mean? Great, thanks to this DVD, I’ll finally have the answer!
- A question/answer section, with really hardcore questions like: “My boyfriend has very special sexual tastes. Sometimes, I let him insert his penis into my anus because it turns him on. I’m afraid it might hurt more if he tries to insert his penis. Isn’t it dangerous to insert a penis into the anus?”. The answers, rather obvious, often include references to books – to be bought, of course, on the aforementioned Alexander Institute’s website.
A sexuality glossary useful if you live in Little House on the Prairie
In short, the advice doesn’t do much: it’s aimed at people who wouldn’t have any experience or sex education, no internet connection, no friends, no dictionary, or… Anyway. But on the other hand, it’s simply the bonus. So we’re not going to make a big deal of it and move on to what really matters: the film.
Okay, enough waffle! The film! The film! The film!
Introduction
The film is in English, subtitled – your choice – in English, French, Spanish or German. The French title is “Infinite Shades of Grey Sex”. It would perhaps have been a better idea not to translate it, but let’s not dwell on it… The film lasts 55 minutes and has twenty chapters, including its introduction.
In the intro, a female voice explains to us that bondage is cool, and that all the erotic accessories that can be seen in the film come from the Sex and Mischief range (like one of the harnesses we recently tested), a range of inexpensive and easy-to-find sex toys. Then (phew!), they leave us alone with the advice. On to the erotic scenes.
The characters in “Endless Shades of Great Sex”
At the beginning of each scene, Anastasia speaks in voice-over and sums up the context for us. Anastasia is young and cute, while still being credible enough for a pretty everywoman (no giant boobs or other artifices that might make fans of natural bodies uncomfortable). The film doesn’t specify her first name, but it’s sufficiently inspired by Fifty Shades of Grey for me to allow myself to call her Anastasia. And of course, I’ll call her boyfriend Christian.
Besides, Christian, I don’t know whether I’m making this up or if it’s really the case, but I find he has a slight resemblance to Al Bundy, the hero of“Married… with Children”. Younger, but still quite uncanny. In one chapter, Anastasia’s voice-over praises the merits of his muscular back, when, let’s be honest, the actor doesn’t seem to be into bodybuilding, and actually has a small belly – which we totally don’t care about, practically, but it’s a bit daft to insist on the merits of a musculature when it’s imaginary. Anyway: he’s not the most handsome man in the world, but he’s not a monster either.
The action
It is an erotic film. No pornographic scenes, and the actors mostly keep their underwear on. At least the bottoms: throughout the video, you won’t see any penis or crotch on screen. Ah yes: you briefly glimpse the tip of Christian’s willy at the 42nd minute. Just the tip, but that’s it.
The most hardcore scene. Can you see the little pink bit sticking out? Oh my God, they actually dared to show a penis!
Each scene begins with a chapter title on a Fifty-Shades-of-Grey-like background, and we hear Anastasia’s voice sharing her thoughts, her current fantasies, and what happened off-camera since the last scene. The narrative tone is very Fifty-Shades-of-Grey-esque, with metaphors like “You bring out the tiger in me” (in the book, it’s the goddess coming out, right?). No comment.
The title of a chapter
Then, our two heroes find themselves together in an apartment. They engage in very soft BDSM practices, with good cheer and tenderness: they smile and kiss each other. Unlike in Fifty Shades, the two characters take control in turns. Anastasia is sometimes submissive, sometimes a domina.
The film’s plot is not thrilling: basically, they make love and they’re happy. With a few references to Fifty Shades of Grey scattered here and there: a signed contract, a grey tie… What we see on screen is a bit too soft and/or lacking context to be really exciting. Maybe they should have attached us to the characters first to make us want to see them tie each other up. Here, we get a bit too much of the impression that we’re dealing with a tutorial on the theme “but what fun things can you do to get into BDSM?”.
As for the erotic accessories they use, I understand the point of using cheap items so the film’s scenes are easy to recreate at home. All the more so since the film targets people who don’t know BDSM well, and who therefore a priori don’t yet know whether they’ll want to use these accessories regularly – so it’s best to avoid investing straight away in luxury accessories. But still… some of the BDSM accessories you can see in the film are really ridiculous… and it spoils the visual pleasure one has (or could have) in watching the scene.
In particular, the two-ended duster / curtain-fibre whip rod:
Curtain-duster-rustle. Very BDSM.
And the soft handcuffs:
But… what is that kind of scrunchie with which Christian ties Anastasia’s wrists?
Other objects used in the film are better chosen and do actually give ideas of cool low-budget BDSM accessories.
It also features the Sex and Mischief harness that we had tested:
Hi, the harness! I didn’t know you were an actor!
And a whole host of other accessories: silk ribbons, bondage tape, various types of handcuffs, leads and collars, whips, a crop, a paddle, blindfolds… Each accessory is not used for very long, but you can clearly see how it is used.
Conclusion on the DVD “Endless Shades of Great Sex”
The good points:
- The characters seem happy, and treat each other with respect and affection. They alternate the roles of dominant and submissive, thus showing that configurations are not fixed over time, because it’s just a game. The film carefully avoids clichés about BDSM, and presents a playful and healthy aspect.
- If what you’re looking for is a film that resembles Fifty Shades of Grey, Endless Shades of Great Sex is indeed directly inspired (minus the licence) by the book.
The bad points:
Actually, I found this film rather rubbish overall. Nothing ultra-violent, but nothing that’s really worth looking at either, to my taste.
It’s a low-budget, advertorial-educational erotic film that doesn’t teach much and makes you discover pinky BDSM practices and sometimes quite cheap accessories. If you’re really bored, it is watchable, but… but that’s pretty much it, really.
On the other hand, Lovely-Vibes (the shop) offers loads and loads of cool items, and notably, the harness-dildo-belt used in this film, which we had tested and approved. So, if you have a few euros to spend on BDSM, better go straight and take a look at the BDSM accessories sold at Lovely-Vibes rather than this bad DVD.
Thanks to the Lovely Vibes shop for this discovery.
