Fleshlight Alien: Testing an Extraterrestrial Masturbator

Thanks to the Espace Libido shop, we managed to get our hands on a sample of the Freaks collection: the Fleshlight Alien male masturbator.

We had already told you about these curious erotic accessories. These sex toys, made by Fleshlight, represent the genitals of various Halloween monsters.

Vampires, cyborgs, zombies and extraterrestrials, all sorts of horror film creatures, male or female, have had their genitals represented as sex toys, to the great delight of collectors (male and female).

Inspired by the film Avatar, the Fleshlight Alien is a strange object, which represents the blue vagina of an extraterrestrial lady.

Buy it from Espace Libido 

Fleshlight Alien packaging

Being cardboard, the packaging isn’t made to last indefinitely. But it’s not a big deal because the Fleshlight case, in fairly sturdy plastic, protects its contents reasonably well.

 

A single-dose lubricant sachet is included.

Appearance of the Fleshlight Alien

A Fleshlight, seen from a distance, always looks like some kind of big torch.

The outside of the Fleshlight Alien is dark blue, like the odd extraterrestrial it contains. The widest part of the “torch” has a cap, which you unscrew to reveal the alien’s vagina.

The back of the sex toy has another, smaller plug, which allows you to control the amount of air that can circulate inside the sex toy (and to attach accessories such as the VStroker).

 

Madame Extraterrestrial’s vagina is fitted with three lips. Or one very large clit; it all depends on your imagination.

It is blue: it is the only Fleshlight in this shade.

If I believe Fleshlight’s FAQ, at present, all the other male masturbators currently sold by the brand are either pink or transparent. Even Frankenstein’s fiancée (another freak from the collection) is pink, while its penis counterpart is quite definitely greenish.

Texture and material

Fleshlights are made from “SuperSkin”, a patented material whose composition we will not know.

Fleshlight does, however, reassure us: SuperSkin contains no phthalates. That’s something.

A strong plastic odour

In any case, a bad surprise on unboxing: it stinks. A very strong, ultra-chemical plastic odour that jumps straight at your nose as soon as you get near it.

I don’t know if this is the case for all Fleshlights, or if this one is olfactorily… um… particular. (Sorry, Mrs Alien, I know it’s not very polite to say that…)

Fortunately, this very unpleasant chemical smell goes away after a bit of determined effort to clean it a few times in a row. It doesn’t disappear in a blink, but it eventually disappears.

And once it’s gone, the smell never comes back! That’s a good thing. So for a first use – and unless we’ve had particular bad luck with our copy – don’t plan on testing it right away. Fortunately, the problem only arises once.

A very soft sleeve

The “vagina” itself (or “masturbation insert”, to use the official terminology) is very soft, and rather stretchy (this reminds one a bit of the soft parts of the Tenga Flip Hole, perhaps even a touch softer still).

But you can completely remove this insert from its torch-shaped receptacle case. Which allows you to clean it, but also, according to Fleshlight, to try other usage techniques.

Maintenance of the Fleshlight Alien: a minus point

Maintenance is quite complex.

I’ve had plenty of opportunity to analyse the cleaning stage. Indeed, I’ve already told you, the smell of the Fleshlight Alien when unboxed is quite off-putting. Enough that you don’t really want to put your precious weenie inside before you’ve managed to get rid of this chemical scent.

Cleaning

You first have to remove the insert from its case, in order to clean the two parts separately. Then, still according to Fleshlight’s FAQ, it’s enough to rinse it in warm water. Soap is forbidden.

In lieu of rinsing, before first use, I soaked it in a bowl. For a long time. Several times.

Drying

After cleaning, it has to be left to air dry before it can go back in its case, where the small rear plug is loosened to let air circulate.

This is a stage that isn’t always very practical: it’s not always simple to find a discreet place to put a soft, squishy sex toy so it can dry for a long time.

On these last two points, the Tengas and, generally, all the male masturbators that split in two for maintenance are much more practical: you clean them more easily than the Fleshlight, and they dry much faster.

 

Next, to keep it soft, you can “powder” it, but without talc: with cornflour. In other words, Maïzena. And then you put it in the oven and you’ve got an alien cake. A maintenance powder specifically for Fleshlights (or Fleshjacks) is also commercially available.

Note, however, that I haven’t gone to that length: I have neither the time nor the desire to carefully spread Maïzena or maintenance powder on my sex toys after each use. I think – and hope – nevertheless that the step is optional and that it will remain pleasant to the touch for long enough. I imagine it’s the ideal treatment, to be reserved for the most meticulous (or cake lovers).

In short, the main problem: to use a Fleshlight in good conditions, you have to be able to leave it out at home for some time after each use. Forget the idea if you have housemates, children, or if you live with your parents.

Use: a plus point!

Once the beast has been properly cleaned, it’s finally time for my weenie to tour the premises.

 

Well, that was a surprise – and a good one. The extraterrestrial beastie that had just disappointed me with its lack of simplicity in maintenance made up for it in use.

To sum up in one word: realistic. Or in two words: realistic and super.

Right, three caveats:

• I’ve never slept with an alien. But, let’s be mad, let’s presume they have human vaginas.

• Realistic, but only in a relative way: even blindfolded, you’ll always be able to distinguish a real vagina from a Fleshlight. (Unless maybe you’re completely hammered?)
• I had previously already called a sex toy quite realistic: the Tenga Flip Hole Red. I thought so then, and I haven’t changed my mind, but, for me, the Fleshlight is a (good) notch above.

The sensations

In fact, the strategy used here to give you sensations differs quite a bit from the other male masturbators I’ve been able to try (that is, various models of Tenga, as well as the Mojo Stimulator, whose review will be published very soon).

Where the Tengas have a “cavity” that is wide around the penis, and on which you always have to (whatever the model) exert pressure with your little hands, the Fleshlight offers something of the opposite. You insert your penis into an artificial vagina with a very tight hole, much, much tighter than the others, and the material’s elasticity does the rest. Result: it’s a bit like in a real vagina: you’re not cramped, and yet you’re not surrounded by empty space, but you are stimulated over the entire surface by a pleasant pressure, because it’s soft and elastic.

The Fleshlight can also be used without its torch, but I didn’t try. Already, simply removing the rear plug made the experience much less pleasant, so I put it back immediately and didn’t seek to experiment further. Anyway, I had no desire to experiment: I was very satisfied with the “default” sensations.

Conclusion on the Fleshlight Alien male masturbator

The good points:

• In use, it’s probably the male masturbator providing the best sensations I’ve had the chance to try. It’s quite realistic, pleasant, comfortable, stimulating. The penis is neither cramped nor under-stimulated.

• It’s freaky, but for once, that’s a good thing! An alien sex toy is still funnier than simple human ones, so common! Tss…

• Compatibility with the VStroker accessories. But the effectiveness of these is unknown to me. Benefit of the doubt.

The bad points:

• Strong chemical smell when we received it, requiring several rinses and two doses of patience.

• Post-use maintenance is nevertheless quite burdensome. It dries more slowly, and is less practical to rinse than some. On top of that, it is bulkier.

• For the girls, it’s pink and cute; for the guys, dark and more brutal. In this case, with its torch look, I find it rather of bad taste.

 

The Fleshlight Alien has, I find, some considerable flaws, which spoil the overall picture a little. Yet, it is undeniably very effective. More than all the Tengas I’ve been able to try, for example. It’s just a pity that it isn’t as practical, nor endowed with such a cool design as them: it would be the perfect male masturbator for me.

So I leave you to form your own opinion, and I hope this review has helped you a little in that.

 

Thanks to Espace Libido  for providing us with the Fleshlight Alien for this review