Actress Gwyneth Paltrow has launched a vagina-scented candle.
Named “This smells like my vagina”, this candle, priced at the eye-watering sum of $75, saw its stock sell out at breakneck speed on the actress’s website, Goop.
Buyers also flocked to the manufacturer, Heretic, where, failing to get one, you can still pre-order it to receive it in October 2020… Provided, of course, you’re willing to fork out €68 for a candle that’s supposed to smell like a cunt.
The news has already made the rounds in several outlets, but perhaps you haven’t heard about it yet.
A vagina-scented candle
The candle’s original description gave a curious explanation for the name and the choice of scent for this strange product. Bizarrely, the website has since changed it.
Gwyneth Paltrow and Douglas Little, the perfumer for the Heretic brand, were testing fragrance combinations to develop a new perfume. Upon sniffing a blend, the actress allegedly exclaimed: “Uh… It smells like a vagina”.
Reading this quote, hardcore fans and bursera enthusiasts might feel a twinge of disappointment. Indeed, the candle doesn’t smell like the actress’s vagina. It just smells like a vagina, according to the actress.
And a vagina, under Gwyneth Paltrow’s nose, seems to have quite a peculiar smell. Bergamot, geranium and cedar fragrances, with a heart of Damask rose, and a base of ambrette seed, with its musky scent.
Does the blend actually smell like a vagina? Or like a vagina that rolled around in a field of flowers? For my part, I’m not keen to fork out $75 to find out in nearly a year’s time. But if the experience tempts you, let us know!
The Heretic brand presents this candle as “a body-positive concept for those who want to de-stigmatise the vagina and celebrate it as the sexy flower it is”. After all, the pussy deserves to be glorified too. When’s the next essential oil diffuser with an anus scent coming?
Gwyneth Paltrow and the vagina
The actress from Seven, Iron Man and Avengers (no, not the porn version!) frequently makes headlines when it comes to rather what-the-fuck things related to vaginas.
On her Goop website, she sold jade eggs, a sort of geisha ball without the string, claiming that they could, among other things, regulate hormones and the menstrual cycle, which is of course false.
These claims earned her a lawsuit and a $145,000 fine. The eggs in question are still for sale, but with a more modest description.
Like Kegel exercises, geisha balls can help tighten the pelvic floor muscles, but they don’t work miracles for everything under the sun.
In 2015, Gwyneth Paltrow also touted the supposed benefits of vaginal steaming. Relief from cramps, reduction of organ prolapse, “purification”, etc…
Of course, this practice, not only being absolutely ineffective in terms of the feats expected of it, is very dangerous. Indeed, there’s a strong risk of burning your cunt.
Moreover, in August 2019, a 62-year-old Canadian woman suffered second-degree burns to her vagina after sitting for two twenty-minute sessions over a pot of boiling water containing medicinal herbs, on the advice of her traditional Chinese medicine practitioner.
