Today, I won’t be talking about sex: you’ll be doing the talking. We wanted to find out more about your wild sexual escapades. To start with: where have you been getting up to mischief?
So we asked this question on various social media: what’s the most unusual place you’ve ever made love?
At first, I got some strange propositions from men who hadn’t realised that the sexual escapades I wanted to hear about had already happened, and that this was in no way an invitation to have them with me.
Then, just as I was beginning to despair, a few of you — whom I thank from the bottom of my heart for satisfying my curiosity — agreed to tell me their intimate anecdotes.
Here are your sauciest, and sometimes downright surprising, stories, published with the permission of their heroes. But they’re all true stories. At least, we’ll take your word for it.
Before we begin, a little “safety warning”: the escapades you’re about to read about involve illegal and/or dangerous acts. This article is in no way an invitation to imitate them (besides, copying is bad). In short, if you do anything silly, it’s at your own risk.
Julien and Charlotte: In the bushes in a hotel courtyard
We did it hidden in the bushes in the courtyard of a hotel that we’d sneaked into.
That evening, we’d been invited to a birthday party, which was being held in a room our hosts had hired. At some point, my partner called me to find out where I was among all the people. We’d lost sight of each other some time before. She told me on the phone that she was waiting for me in our car, parked among the others.
When I got there, she confessed that she was really horny and wanted to satisfy her desire as soon as possible. I told her that the car wasn’t a very discreet place. There was a very good chance we’d get caught, and not just by strangers. So it would be safer to do something simpler and more discreet. I unbuttoned my trousers and took out my erect cock, already worked up by my partner’s desire. After a few minutes of oral sex, the urge grew even stronger. It was time to get down to business.
So I got dressed again, and we both got out of our completely steamed-up car to look for a dark spot, out of sight. If we’d got away with the blowjob in the car, pretending nothing was happening if someone came up to the vehicle while we were having sex would have been difficult. So there we were, outside. We walked away from the room to find a discreet spot where we could carry on with our little adventure.
Yes, that’s where we came across a hotel. Its car park was enclosed by a high wall, with access to the lobby and a terrace area with some greenery, including a few fairly large bushes. We sneaked into the hotel grounds so we could hide in those bushes.
My partner lifted her dress and bent forward, offering me her pussy, soaked from the blowjob. I entered her and gave her some vigorous thrusts at a good pace. She came, with a few cries of pleasure and absolutely no restraint. I hadn’t held back from filling her pussy with a good dose of semen, either. We got dressed again… And then we spotted a CCTV camera a few paces away. We thought someone might have watched the show. Then we headed back to the room where the birthday party was taking place, feeling satisfied. My partner then had a great time dancing with her knickers full of semen.
Camille: At the back of a coach
I was lucky enough to do it at the back of a coach in summer, wearing short clothes, on the journey from Pornic to Nantes. It was very exciting!
It was a while ago now. I’m twenty-seven today, and I was eighteen at the time. My boyfriend and I were on holiday at my parents’ house on the Atlantic coast, near Pornic. We were going to spend the afternoon in Nantes, and had no choice but to take the coach. It was hot, around twenty-five to twenty-seven degrees, in the middle of August. I was wearing a very short skirt, open-toed shoes with platform soles, a vest top and a red thong. I only wore that kind of underwear at the time. We were tired after a night out clubbing. So we got on the coach without any intention of doing anything, with nothing planned.
There weren’t many people, which obviously helped us let ourselves go. We went straight to the back seat, my boyfriend by the window and me next to him. There were only seven or eight people on the coach, and nobody within five rows of us. We settled in, in “cuddling” mode, as if we were going to sleep… And then it was hot, probably the hormones, and I felt my boyfriend’s hand stroking my back…. then my hip, then my thigh…
That went on for a good fifteen minutes, and little by little I felt really turned on. Then I started caressing my boyfriend too, his thighs (he was wearing shorts). And from then on, things moved very, very quickly. He slipped his hand under my skirt, I slipped mine under his shorts, and he caressed me and fingered me. I was really turned on, and he was too; he was very hard. Then I leant a little further over him and started sucking him, but he was so excited that he said, “Stop, come here.”
So I lifted my skirt, discreetly sat on him, and we fucked. It didn’t last long because he was so excited, and luckily I came very quickly too. It was extremely pleasurable, an unforgettable experience, incredibly exciting and amazing in its spontaneity and depth.
No, nobody noticed a thing. The only person who might have seen us was the driver, through his central rear-view mirror; everyone else was facing the other way… And maybe he did see, but I honestly don’t think so… Actually, I have no idea — you don’t think about it at the time. In any case, nobody reacted at all.
In her account, Camille wanted to share a few links where you can find her online:
- her website, where she sells her knickers online,
- her Twitter account: panties44,
- and her account on Vends Ta Culotte: Paule44.
João: On the railway tracks, in front of a moving train
Just outside the La Savine tunnel, on the railway tracks. When the TER on the “Swallows Line” enters at the other end, the driver sounds the horn loudly. That’s the starting gun, and it gives you three minutes and twenty-two seconds to take off your skirt and trousers and enjoy a glorious adrenaline-fuelled orgasm. But you mustn’t mess it up. And the driver mustn’t be in a hurry that day.
Three minutes and twenty-two seconds — I think I made that up, but otherwise we could see the railcar approaching by its headlights (it wasn’t called a TER back then), and the driver would sound the horn, as required, a few dozen metres before the tunnel exit. We weren’t the only ones to pull off this kind of “feat”.
When we were eight, we used to have fun putting coins on the tracks to make coasters out of them. At thirteen, we’d cross the tracks at the last moment to impress our girlfriends. We more or less stopped around then, especially after the gendarmes had warned our parents. When we were around seventeen or eighteen, during the holidays, we’d come and play guitar round a fire… And naturally, we started again… First, the longest possible snog, then a blowjob or cunnilingus, and one thing led to another…
We stayed together throughout our (long) studies, along with the rest of our gang. Then we gradually lost touch as our careers and time spent living abroad took us in different directions. The few attempts to reunite with the others weren’t as magical as I’d hoped after all that time… Oh yes, to answer your first question, I was born in 1952. You can work out how long ago that was.
Not too personal, no. The context was the late sixties, early seventies, “Flower Power” and all its freedoms, now lost! The train was a red and beige railcar you don’t see any more. I think Giscard had them replaced by the “Bleues d’Auvergne”, but they don’t run any more either.
Image sources: Flickr galleries by Charlie Marshall and Ann and Yann, Creative Commons.
And you, reading this right now, what’s the most unusual place you’ve ever made love?
