After a few hours reading juicy topics on Reddit, I’m translating a few excerpts of answers to the big question of the male sex. Having a penis, what does it feel like?
How would you describe having a penis?
The voodoo-doll penis
“It’s a bit like having a miniature version of your body on your body. A voodoo doll of you.
When you hold it, it’s like when you get a hug. You feel safe when you hold your penis.
When you use it to urinate, you feel as if your whole body is rinsed from head to toe. When you stroke it, it’s like a massage of the entire body. As it stiffens, you feel stronger, sturdier, tougher. When it penetrates a woman, it’s as if your whole self were entering her. And when it finally empties and softens, it’s your whole body that is relaxed.”
The subconscious phallus
“Men are simply their penis.
Even before we know what we want, the penis knows. It notices the pretty girls (or the handsome guys, if that’s what the penis wants) before we realise it. It is standing up before we do in the morning.
Although it seems out of control, in reality, it is a reflection of our true desires.”
The astronaut penis
“Most penises don’t know that a man’s penis went to the Moon.”
The misunderstood plaything
“It’s like having a brilliant toy that no one wants to play with.”
The dopey wee-wee
“It’s like being attached to a stubborn dope who feels no shame and spends all his time getting us into trouble.”
The mystical phallus
You know, in cartoons, when a character has a moral dilemma and a little angel and a little demon appear on his shoulders? Your penis is the demon on the shoulder.
The sausage sex
“It’s like carrying a heavy, thick sausage between your legs: with the slightest movement, you have to be careful not to hit anything with it.”
The party-loving mate
“Your penis, in a way, is like a friend who is always up for fun.
You know your penis will put you in embarrassing situations, but you put up with it because you, too, have a lot of fun being with it.”
Illustration: photo of the Chao Mae Tuptim (oratory to the goddess Tuptim), Bangkok, Thailand, Jason Eppink’s Flickr gallery, Creative Commons.
