Which sex toy should you choose? Depending on the result you’re looking for, the answer won’t always be the same.
Certain criteria always come into play in the choice of a sex toy, whatever category of accessory you’re considering. In particular, the material it is made from, which must be safe for your body. Phthalates, along with other toxic components such as mineral oils, should be avoided.
Let’s say we consider only accessories that meet a certain number of basic quality standards. Even then, that still leaves us with a wide range of possibilities.
Once that first selection has been made, which type of sex toy should you focus on? It all depends on what you’re in the mood for:
Quick clitoral orgasms
An ultra-powerful clitoral vibrator
Which criteria should you prioritise?
- The power of the vibrations. This is the most important point.
- The noise level: ultra-powerful vibrators are noisy. That’s normal, they vibrate hard. But some still make more racket than others.
- The power supply: some of them plug into the mains. That often means brutally powerful vibrations, but it also creates a few technical constraints: absolutely no water nearby, having to masturbate close to a socket, the cable…
A few reviews on the subject
- Corded: the Europe Magic Wand, the Doxy Massager, the Tokidoki x Lovehoney unicorn vibrator.
- Cordless: LELO’s Smart Wand, in Medium and Large versions, or Lovehoney’s Mantric magic wand vibrator.
A clitoral stimulator that envelops the clitoris
Which criteria should you prioritise?
The power of the suction and the pulsations:
- Some enveloping clitoral stimulators, such as the Womanizer or Satisfyer ranges, suction the clit while delivering pulsations to it. All with intensity levels that vary from one model to another.
- Others, such as the Sona Cruise by Lelo, simply pulse in a localised way, but very strongly.
- Here, everything depends on the sensitivity of your clit. It varies a great deal from one anatomy to another. For some women, you’ll need to make sure the thing doesn’t go too hard, otherwise it may become uncomfortable. Others, meanwhile, will be bored by a suction vibrator that’s too limp.
A few reviews on the subject
- Suction and pulsing toys: the Womanizer Liberty, the Satisfyer Pro 2.
- Sonic pulsators: the Sona or the Sona Cruise by Lelo.
Clitoral orgasms while taking your time
A classic vibrator
A vibrator whose vibrating area can easily be brought into contact with the clitoris.
Which criteria should you prioritise?
- Still, avoid vibrations that are too weak: on the clitoris, feeble vibrations are ineffective.
- A soft or very gentle material is generally more pleasant.
- If you like sensations to build gradually, choose a vibrator fitted with a dimmer-style control. Sadly, this kind of detail is rarely mentioned in a sex toy’s description when you’re about to buy it, but it’s a criterion worth paying attention to.
A few reviews on the subject
- Mini vibes: the Touch by We Vibe, the LELO Mia 2,
- Heated: the Womolia Heat,
- Animal-shaped: the Dolly Dolphin or the Patchy Paul by Fun Factory.
G-spot stimulation
A curved sex toy
A curved vibrator or dildo, or one with a curved tip.
Which criteria should you prioritise?
- Size isn’t especially important here (around ten centimetres in length is enough), nor is vibration strength.
- A wide, rounded or flat tip can help.
A few reviews on the subject
- On the dildo side: the silicone Tantus Splash, the wooden Orchidée by Idée du Désir, the stainless steel Njoy Pure Wand, the glass Corkscrew by Fucking Sculptures.
- Vibrators: the Lelo Gigi 2 and Mona 2, or the MyPleasure by Goliate.
- And pulsators: the Stronic G by Fun Factory.
Vaginal stimulation, without specifically targeting the “G” spot
Same idea: an elongated vibrator or a dildo.
Which criteria should you prioritise?
Here too, the object’s shape and texture are very important.
On both counts, some criteria depend on your tastes:
- The surface: it can be smooth or textured. Some textures are more pleasant than others, but that can only really be judged in use.
- The dimensions: long or short, wide or slim, that’s for you to decide.
Others are more generic:
- No discomfort, no rough surfaces, etc.
Anal stimulation
An anal plug
Which criteria should you prioritise?
With anal plugs, your choice will also depend on how you plan to use them.
- Are you planning to wear them for a short time, for the duration of sex or a masturbation session?
- Or for longer? Out on a walk, for a game spread over several hours, etc…
In the second case, you need to pay close attention to whether the plug is comfortable, and whether it does not become awkward for sitting or walking.
See our guide: Choosing an anal plug: advice and criteria.
A few reviews on the subject
- Wooden: the Idée du Désir plug.
- Silicone: the Nexus G-Play.
- Or metal: the Rosebuds Cristal.
A dildo with a wide, flat base
With dildos, you need to pay attention to the shape of the base of the sex toy.
If it is much wider than the rest of the object, that will remove the risk of it disappearing entirely into your bum. And therefore any possible issue with a sex toy getting stuck.
See our guide: Choosing a dildo.
A few reviews on the subject
- Realistic: the Mustang by Vixen Creations.
- Ultra-realistic: the RealCock 2.
- Simple: the Fun Factory Tiger.
- Colourful: the Tantus Comet or the Pride Dildo.
Simultaneous stimulation of the vagina and clitoris
A rabbit, a two-pronged vibrating sex toy, one part stimulating the clitoris and the other penetrating the vagina.
Which criteria should you prioritise?
There are two types of rabbits: those that look like a bunny, and the others. So first of all, you need to settle that point: do you want a sex toy shaped like a rabbit, or not?
Once that question is out of the way, look at the movements of the two parts (the one that stimulates the clitoris, and the one that stimulates the vagina):
- The motors: a good rabbit should have at least two motors, so that the two ends of the sex toy can move independently from one another. What’s more, when there is only one motor, the vibrations struggle to carry properly through both arms of the toy.
- The intensity of the vibrations: in terms of power, the vibrations in the rabbit’s head that stimulates the clitoris are the ones you should pay the closest attention to.
- The movement of the part that stimulates the vagina. Depending on the model, it may vibrate, pulse, rotate or move back and forth. It may also contain strings of beads rotating beneath its surface. Here again, it’s a matter of personal taste.
A few reviews on the subject
- Bunny: the Sexy Bunny 2
- Not a bunny: the LELO Ina 2
Penetrating your partner if you don’t have a penis
A strap-on harness
Some harnesses can be fitted with any type of flat-based dildo. Others have patented fastening systems and will only be compatible with sex toys from the same brand; others still come with one, and only one, dedicated dildo.
Which criteria should you prioritise when choosing a harness?
- The comfort of the straps: if there are any, it’s better if they’re adjustable, and possibly a little stretchy too.
- The comfort of the material used. You can find harnesses made of fabric, leather and PVC. PVC harnesses can prove uncomfortable. Unless you’re dealing with an especially well-fitted accessory (with various adjustable straps wherever body measurements vary from one person to another, for example), it’s better to choose a stretchy material, which will be more comfortable to wear.
- The firm hold of the sex toy that will be attached to it. For it to be easy to “handle”, the base of the sex toy needs to be held as closely as possible against your body, without wobbling around. That depends greatly on the harness’s ability to fit snugly against the body. Hence the value of choosing an elastic material.
- The size: generally, there’s quite a lot of leeway with harnesses fitted with adjustable straps. And the measurements are often given in the harness description, in the shop selling it, or on the manufacturer’s website. Some harnesses come in several sizes, and in that case you will usually find additional information to help determine which one suits you: size/measurement charts, instructions on how to measure yourself. For underwear-style harnesses, which are not very adjustable, you need to be more precise about sizing.
- The compatibility of the fastening system, so you know which dildo you’ll be able to wear with it.
Which criteria should you prioritise when choosing a sex toy to wear in a harness?
- The same criteria as for a standard dildo.
- Of course, you need to make sure the dildo is compatible with your harness.
- You also need to pay attention to its shape, in particular the size of its base and the orientation of the sex toy relative to it. The aim is to assess whether it will stay properly upright in the harness or whether it will tilt, and whether the resulting angle will be practical for pleasuring your partner.
A few reviews on the subject
A Feeldoe
You can also choose a Feeldoe, a sort of wearable cock that stays in the vagina or anus through contraction of the pelvic muscles.
A few reviews on the subject
- Non-vibrating: the Tantus Feeldoe.
- Vibrating: the ShareVibe by Fun Factory.
Stimulating your penis
A masturbator.
Some masturbators are used with thrusting motions, thereby imitating the sensations felt when penetrating a partner. Among them are “realistic” ones, which attempt to reproduce the appearance of part of a human body, and more abstract designs.
Others vibrate, or rotate around the penis.
Which criteria should you prioritise?
- The dimensions: it is important that the masturbator’s dimensions suit those of your penis. A sex toy that doesn’t touch your cock won’t do anything. A masturbator that is too short can be painful if your glans bangs against the end, or simply ruin a good part of the sensations if the penis sticks out the other side.
- Realistic or not? Some sex toys favour “realism”, in the sensations and sometimes even in the look. They try, as far as possible, to come close to the effects felt when penetrating a partner. But they don’t kiss you. Not yet. It’s up to you whether that’s the criterion that interests you.
- The vibrations: a vibrating sex toy provides sensations that are quite different from those felt during penetration, but which can be interesting to explore. For this criterion, everything depends on the type of stimulation you’re looking for.
A few reviews on the subject
- Tenga: the 3D Polygon, the Egg Spider, the Flip Hole, (the Red and Silver versions)
- Fleshlight: the Alien
And let’s not forget cock rings, vibrating or non-vibrating, prostate stimulators, vibrating eggs, and sex toys built around more unusual concepts, such as the We Vibe or the LELO Tiani, play accessories which also have their own specific features and selection criteria. But that will be for a future article.
