Clarisse Calliopé runs the site Soumise-blog.com, a blog devoted to BDSM. On her blog, she shares her life as a submissive, her encounters and her experiences. She also shares her reflections on BDSM, as well as advice for anyone who wants to get into this world.
We offered her an interview, and Clarisse Calliopé very kindly agreed to answer our questions.
Hi Clarisse Calliopé, could you introduce yourself a little to our readers?
Hi! Yes, gladly. I am a round young woman, bisexual, deeply submissive and masochistic. For 5 years now, I’ve had a blog that I care about a lot, and I write a great many texts about my sessions and my questions as a submissive.
You describe yourself as a submissive. How do you live your submission on a day-to-day basis?
I wish I could live what’s called 24/7, but I fell in love with a man who wasn’t a Master to begin with. So, we built above all a romantic relationship, let’s say “basic”. I can say today that I am more his wife in everyday life and less his submissive. We reserve those moments for intimacy. So, on a day-to-day basis, my life is quite banal I’d say, even though I can be subject to my Master’s orders at any moment.
Yes, absolutely! It’s my BDSM private diary and nothing else. I take care not to divulge anything about my personal life otherwise, because I like to preserve that “intimacy” for myself. And then I feel it has nothing to do with the blog. As for my entire BDSM side, I love to tell about my sessions, my moods, even if not everything is there. There are still things I live through secretly and that I want to keep to myself, moments often very precious.
How would you describe your BDSM? Are you more of a submissive, or more of a masochist? Or both equally?
I think I am both equally. I love obeying just as much as being painfully roughed up. They are two things that turn me on enormously.
You practise a BDSM that some might call “hard”. What’s the line between soft and hard for you?
It’s a question the community asks a lot. Are we legit in considering ourselves maso when we like a little spanking while others get their nipples pinned? I believe there is no exact and universal gauge to delineate hard from soft, nor a threshold at which we could say “if you go past this pain, then yes, it means you’re maso, otherwise, you’re not”.
For me, what is soft is what we like to practise, with ease and comfort, and hard is what we would find harder to practise, enjoy, even accept. This categorisation is specific to each of us.
As for me, I think I stay quite moderate; soft for me ranges from a little spanking to paddle hits if they’re moderate, and hard would be at a higher level of pain; anything that causes bruises I’d say, and anything that cuts my breath on impact. It can be anything, even a bare hand.
What are your favourite BDSM accessories?
My collars remain and will always remain my favourite accessories (even if one could question whether they count as such). They are part of me, and they’re loaded with history; I adore them enormously.
Furthermore, I really love one of my floggers, made by my friend Agnès who made me a cat o’ nine tails (a nine-thong flogger in English) shaped like roses; it’s magnificent. I champion the work of the leather artisans around me a great deal; I find they have exceptional craftsmanship.
And your favourite BDSM practices?
I’m a submissive like many others: I am very cerebral and I probably enjoy as much with my body as with my mind.
That’s why what I love above all are atmospheres. A hard, charismatic Master can order me to do whatever he wants, and I’ll adore it. So, to answer the question, I’d say I don’t have a favourite practice but rather a state of mind: I love when I feel inferior and tamed, when I’m humiliated too.
What’s the most intense BDSM situation you’ve experienced, in your opinion?
It’s a rather difficult question… I’m thinking… The most intense emotionally is the day I experienced my very first BDSM session. I was trembling all over, my tension was at its peak, I’ll remember it for the rest of my life. It’s the kind of thing you only live through once.
And the most intense physically was during an intensive flogging session; it was hard but it was terribly good, I adored it! I had bruises all over my body, I was impressed with myself.
What are your limits?
My limits are quite simple: it’s when the pleasure disappears. I get pleasure from very extreme acts, I get pleasure from being dominated, used, hit, but when it goes too far for me the pleasure disappears and there, my limits are crossed.
On the internet, there are a lot of men looking for a submissive for sometimes less than desirable reasons. Do you manage to avoid them?
Yes, with time I’ve managed to see through even the cleverest, the liars, the smooth talkers. At the same time, I’ve been immersed in this virtual world for 7 years now so I have experience in this regard.
Then, as for the low-down types who approach you by writing out of the blue “obey, you dirty bitch”, I just ignore them. I don’t have time to waste and I’ve stopped trying to educate men who have nothing in their heads, not even a semblance of respect.
More generally, with your site, do you often get contacted by creeps? How do you react in those cases?
No, very few creeps contact me via the blog; on the contrary, I receive many long thank-you emails, very cordial, very respectful and disinterested too. The world of BDSM in my eyes is this one: a caring and very respectful community.
The creeps who approach me contact me on social media. Besides, they don’t read my blog, because they don’t even have the curiosity to read me. What they’re looking for are photos of me naked, sexual exchanges. And since I don’t provide them with that, they quickly lose interest in me and that’s just fine.
On your blog, you confess to having an admiration for the submissive blogger Céline Messine, whose site no longer exists. Were you in contact with her? If so, do you have any news of her?
Yes, I had infinite admiration for this woman. Her blog pleased me so much. When I knew nothing about BDSM, I read her words and they resonated so deeply with me.
Sometimes even, I felt she went too far with her adoration of her Master, and in fact, when I met mine, everything finally made sense to me, because I was living through everything she described.
I would have loved to meet her, make her a friend. But when I started writing, she immediately despised me, and then her blog disappeared. I was genuinely sad about all of it.
Since then, I know she’s taken up a completely normal vanilla life and that she no longer practices BDSM at all. I found that crazy…
Would you have any advice to give to our readers who want to get into BDSM, as submissives or as Dominants?
Yes, of course. On paper, there would be dozens of pieces of advice to offer, but I’d say there are four points more important than the others:
- Safety above all else.
- Communication, which must be optimal.
- Pleasure, which should never be neglected, even if you’re a submissive.
- Trust, which must be absolute.
If any one of these four points is lacking, then don’t go for it… Really. If on the contrary, all are satisfactory for you, then all that’s left is to let yourself go to all your desires, even the wildest.
Also, to make it easier for yourself to let go, don’t be afraid to establish a contract, or to clearly state your desires and your limits in advance to allow yourself a complete letting go when the moment comes. It will help you avoid a great deal of stress and hiccups during a first session. It will also reassure your Dominant, who will know exactly what to do or not do to allow you to have a really lovely session.
And above all, don’t be afraid to speak up; it’s really important.
Among your accounts, which one is your favourite?
I’d say, without much surprise, the account of my very first session… I can re-read it 100 times, I’m always left starstruck at the end, thinking back on that fabulous evening/night.
Do you have a favourite sex toy?
My Satisfyer without the slightest hesitation. Even though recently, I discovered the Lush 2 which is not bad at all.
You wrote a book, but on your blog, you seem to say that this experience didn’t please you. Could you tell us more? Would you recommend reading it?
No, I didn’t enjoy it at all. Pressure to write quickly, I didn’t take any pleasure in it, I toiled for hours to produce something that didn’t satisfy me, my experience with the publishing world was disastrous too, a real catastrophe… My book didn’t sell, well, nothing was right with this whole thing.
And then I’m a good blogger, but that doesn’t mean I’m a good writer. I think my writing belongs on the blog and nowhere else.
You call your current Master Papang? Where does this nickname with its rather amusing-sounding name come from?
Yes, that’s right, Papang, that’s the name he gave himself. He never wanted to explain it to me, and rather invited me to find out for myself.
I know his Réunion origins besides, and I found it via Google. The papang is a bird that is only found on the island of Réunion. So why choose the name of a bird? No idea.
You completely stopped BDSM at one point?
Yes, I was destroyed by the accumulation of destructive men in my life… Being a submissive is something rare, noble, precious, but too many Dominant men abuse their charisma and destroy women who give them absolutely everything without even realising it. Giving everything of yourself is strong, it’s beautiful, it’s powerful, but it’s also devastating when you entrust yourself to the wrong person. So I had had enough… And I had to cut it all off.
Today, I chose to turn towards someone outside of all of this, and I am much happier now.
Your blog has existed for several years, and since its creation, your situation has changed a lot. What’s your take on your early writing? Do you still see them through an erotic lens?
Yes, I’ve evolved enormously, but that doesn’t stop me from appreciating all my posts, even the oldest ones. I don’t disown my past; I’ve actually experienced wonderful moments that I like to re-read sometimes. Today, I look at them with a nostalgic eye and with a lot of emotion. Some even turn me on.
What are your plans for the future?
Continuing to be happy, to keep my blog going, to learn to keep things fresh too, and managing to keep all these loyal readers who faithfully follow me.
A huge thank you to Clarisse Calliopé for taking the time to answer our questions.
If this interview has made you want to know more, you can find Clarisse Calliopé:
- On her blog, Soumise-blog.com.
- But also on her Twitter account.
- And on her Facebook page.
