Objectùm-sexuals feel love for inanimate objects. How does this sexual orientation manifest itself?
The term “sexual orientation” refers to “the capacity of each person to feel a profound emotional, affectionate and sexual attraction towards individuals of the opposite sex, of the same sex or of more than one sex, and to have intimate and sexual relationships with those individuals” (according to the preamble of the Jakarta Principles, a document aimed at prohibiting discrimination against LGBT and intersex people, presented in 2007 before the United Nations Human Rights Council).
But what about when the object of this emotional, affectionate and sexual attraction is not a person strictly speaking, but rather a kettle, a monument or a virtual character?
We then speak of “objectùm-sexuals” (in French, we would therefore translate it as “objectùm-sexuels”), or OS. This term was created in the 70s by Eija-Riitta Eklöf-Berliner-Mauer, a Swedish woman who feels affection and attraction for certain barriers, certain walls and certain bridges, and above all for the Berlin Wall, which she married in 1979.
This attraction is to be distinguished from fetishism, because an OS considers the object to be a being in its own right, with which they share a relationship. It is very often based on animist beliefs: objects, like living beings, possess a “soul”, a “life force” that animates them.
The website “Objectùm-sexuality Internationale” explains what this orientation consists of.
Some famous Objectùm-sexuals
By “famous”, I mean “who have been talked about in the media”. The news then quite often takes a buzz turn (given that we make such a fuss over marriage for all, which gives the creeps to right-wingers of all stripes, it is hardly surprising..). But the protagonists are no less serious, and eager to share their feelings.
They are of sound mind, and they know perfectly well that the object of their affection is… an object. They simply do not feel their relationships with it in the same way.
Eija-Riitta and the Berlin Wall
Eija-Riitta Eklöf felt a strong attraction to the Berlin Wall from its creation in 1961. She therefore married it in 1979, hence the (unofficial) addition of the suffix “Berliner-Mauer”, which means “Berlin wall” in German, to her name.
Eija-Riitta is not in the slightest interested in the political symbolism of the Berlin Wall. She is simply attracted by its rectangular shape, and its parallel and horizontal lines. This is, moreover, a common characteristic of the objects she likes.
The fall of the wall in 1989 was extremely painful for her. So much so that she prefers to use a technique to cope with traumatic events, which she calls “temporal displacement method”, in order to find her spouse again. She focuses her mind on the period 1961-1988, and tries to erase most of her memories outside this period.
She writes poems for him, and collects everything related to the wall (photos, etc.).
Another object she is deeply attached to, a barrier named Röda Staketet (“red barrier” in Swedish), has become the symbol of the objectùm-sexual community.
This attraction to objects does not diminish her consideration for living beings. Eija-Riitta raises a brood of cats, and pays them great attention.
Erika and the Eiffel Tower
Erika Eiffel is – among other things – famous for having married the Eiffel Tower in 2009. She met it in 2004, and felt an immediate attraction. Erika is also an archery champion, and claims that her relationship with Lance, her bow, helped her compete at international level.
She is the founder of the organisation Objectùm-sexuality Internationale.
Virtual loves
In 2009, a 27-year-old Japanese man, using the pseudonym Sal 9000, married his virtual girlfriend, Nene Anegasaki, a character in the game “Love Plus”, on the Nintendo DS (see here as well for the juicy details). The ceremony has no legal value, and Sal 9000 is aware of this.
However, he finds Nene far nicer than a human girlfriend, notably because of her far more amiable personality. Indeed, she never stays angry for long when he does not pay her enough attention.
Comfortable loves
In 2010, Lee Jin-gyu, a 28-year-old Korean, married his pillow, which he had dressed in a wedding dress before kissing it at the altar.
But watch out, it is not just any pillow. It is a dakimakura, those large cushions printed with the likeness of a female anime character, so that their owner can cuddle them (or do other things with them). Lee’s chosen one represents Fate Testarossa, a character from the Japanese animated television series “Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha”. The ceremony is conducted by a priest.
This is a genuine love story, and not a joke: according to his friends, Lee never leaves his pillow. He regularly takes it to the park, to the funfair and to the restaurant, where the pillow is entitled to its own seat, and its own meal.
How does objectùm-sexuality work?
I relied on the explanations given on the website of Objectùm-sexuality Internationale to try to answer some questions.
I have taken some liberties of interpretation. If I have misunderstood some points, all my apologies to any OS who might read this. Do not hesitate to let me know what needs correcting.
How can you love an inanimate object?
You probably do not consider yourself an OS (statistically, I have a good chance of being right). Yet, some objects most certainly have a great sentimental value in your eyes. A piece of jewellery, a plush toy, a musical instrument, a house, etc… You would not for the world want to swap them for a similar object costing the same price.
You may even have given them a name. Teddy the teddy bear, Titine the car, Gwendoline the guitar, etc… And you do not really appreciate people having fun pulling Teddy’s ears, suggesting you scrap Titine, or clumsily detuning Gwendoline. Teddy, Titine and Gwendoline, for you, are a bit like good old pals, they have never left you.
For objectùm-sexuals, it is more or less the same thing. The relationship is simply more intense.
The question of reciprocity remains. How can one love an inanimate object, which will be incapable of loving in return? As with all sexual orientations, one-way love also exists for objectùm-sexuals. However, they generally feel loved in return.
How do you communicate with an object?
OS are, for the most part, animists: for them, the object possesses a soul, it is capable of feeling. Communication takes various forms, beyond the purely verbal aspect (touch, feeling, etc). However, some OS feel the need to speak out loud to the object, as one would communicate with a person.
In order to improve their perception of the object, and thus their ability to enter into “connection” with it, an OS generally directs their areas of interest towards subjects related to the object (collections, scale models, etc).
How does one become an Objectùm-sexual?
As with any sexual orientation, one cannot say that there is a “determining factor” strictly speaking. However, certain factors can be linked.
Objectùm-sexuals and Asperger’s syndrome
Asperger’s syndrome, a form of autism (to sum it up roughly, it is the autism that can make one gifted, but it is best to read the definition on Wikipedia) has been diagnosed in a significant number of objectùm-sexual people.
It is possible that, in these people, bonds with objects may have formed more easily than bonds with others. But this is not a generalisation among OS.
Objectùm-sexuals and sexual identity
OS tendencies do not appear to be linked to any sexual trauma.
In some cases, these tendencies are associated with gender identity disorders.
However, one can only suppose that an object not having a sex strictly speaking may lead the person who is attracted to it to question their own gender. No correlation has as yet been scientifically demonstrated.
Objectùm-sexuals and synaesthesia
Synaesthesia, a neurological phenomenon whereby two or more senses are associated, has been diagnosed in a number of OS.
Synaesthetes can, for example, perceive distinct colours associated with each letter of the alphabet or with sounds (a bit like this), see numbers automatically and involuntarily in a graphical manner, or, in rarer cases, perceive quite specific tastes associated with words or syllables. This may contribute to making them more sensitive than average to emotions perceived when facing an object.
As with Asperger’s syndrome, this phenomenon is not easy to diagnose. People affected by synaesthesia take a long time to notice it, unaware that others do not perceive things in the same way. Some do not feel the need to talk about it, for fear of not being taken seriously. Synaesthesia can lead to difficulties in certain areas, or even sometimes a physical disability, but some studies suggest a correlation between synaesthesia and creativity.
Among famous musicians, Duke Ellington and Michel Petrucciani perceived tints in music, while among writers, Vladimir Nabokov saw words in colours.
Objectùm-sexuals and animism
Animism is the belief that every object, like every living being, has a spirit, a “soul” and is able to perceive and feel emotions in the face of what surrounds it. It is the most common reason that drives one to love an object.
For an animist, an object has its own energy, and it is possible to connect to it and enter into communication with it.
And sex, in all this?
The question of intimacy varies from one OS to another.
A “sexual orientation” does not necessarily imply sexual intercourse.
And the definition an OS has of a sexual act may differ from that of other people. For many of them, it is a much more abstract thing. Sexuality is then not a question of penises or vaginas. It is rather an intense emotional exchange, which can be associated with caresses that the general public would consider platonic.
In a text titled “The Only Love for Me… A Letter to the Outside World”, BC Hall, who describes himself as “an objectùm-sexual sound engineer”, writes:
“If we say we have “sexual relations” with an object, we do not necessarily practise them as everyone else means. For example, a female OS does not necessarily need to be penetrated to have sexual relations. A large part of OS sexuality is based on emotional intimacy.
Let us be clear. Some people are attracted to objects in a very physical way. But, for my part, it is a psychic connection, an energy transfer, completed by kisses, cuddles, and other demonstrations of affection “above the waist”. This is what I refer to when I say that my partners and I have sexual relations.”
OS sexuality is not masturbation
Objectùm-sexuals do not like their sexuality being compared to masturbation. The intimacy of OS is not an instrumentalisation of the object as a means to satisfy one’s desires.
It is not fetishism either. Indeed, the object is not a simple catalyst for reaching pleasure. During their relations with an object, whatever its physical degree, an OS focuses on the beloved object.
OS prefer their passion to be compared to an obsession. This designation can also be applied to a relationship between two humans.
They are very respectful of the object they are linked to. They consider that the object has an intimacy that must not be crossed without its agreement. When it is a public object, they will therefore not allow themselves anything indecent. In short, if you come across a man with his cock out near a building, it is most certainly not an objectùm-sexual.
Whether or not one understands what Objectùm-sexuals feel, they are not very different. They love their partner, feel loved, communicate with them and respect them. All without offending anyone.
