The dating sites, and more specifically, the libertine ones, are a dime a dozen. While researching the subject, I’ve come across all manner of things… For instance, a dating site for serious people. Because damn, we’re not there to have fun either! Or ones for people who have a dog, or a cat: before getting cosy with humans, it’s important to know whether Médor and Lassie will be able to coexist in peace. Or even, for rich people. Spoiler: men pay a fortune for every message sent.
But anyway, I might do a funny rundown of the weirdest things I’ve come across, but in the meantime, and since we’ve been registered on this site (and others) for several years now, we have plenty to compare, so I’ll just do a quick experience report on one of the most well-known in the libertine scene: Wyylde (formerly NetEchangisme).
Edit: a promo code and some clarifications at the end of the article
First, let’s start from the beginning: the site clearly caters to the libertine scene, rather than dating in general. Wyylde even defines itself as “the 1st libertine social network”.
At first glance, and even though it’s not the only one to boast about it, its uses do seem genuinely varied: you don’t just go there to make new connections, and it’s its various uses that I’ll be going into here. So, why do people go on Wyylde? … Or at least, why do we go there?
Meeting people
A dating site, as its name suggests, is, above all, made for meeting people.
On some libertine sites, you get harpooned by a host of clowns. On Wyylde, rest assured, you do occasionally come across creeps (there’s no anti-creep captcha yet), but, due to several factors, you come across far fewer, and lighter ones:
The popularity of Wyylde in the libertine scene
For one, the site being very popular in libertine circles, a lot of libertins, a large proportion of whom are couples, are on it. If you sign up as a woman or a couple, you will, of course, be a big hit, but you won’t be the only possible target in the area for single men, which tends to keep the approach in check. And above all, you’ll be able to easily get in touch with other couples, without having to worry too much — there are plenty of them to choose from.
Paid access
For another, the site is paid, and for everyone: in itself, it’s of course a drawback, and some will come crying that it’s income-based segregation, blah blah blah… Okay, that might be a bit true, but the price isn’t exactly exorbitant either, when you put it in perspective with much more common things, like a subscription to any VOD service, for example.
And then, it has a knock-on effect, though morally debatable, practically very effective: people pay to be there. You won’t find any internet trolls there, you won’t find Aunt Joséphine or colleague Roberto who sign up “just to see if you’re on it”, or simply, the fantasising creep who signed up that very evening to jerk off at your expense (particularly in the “Live” section, where you can show yourself on webcam).
Filtering options
To filter further, it’s possible to choose which types of member you accept being contacted by: those who wish to can therefore refuse to receive messages from single men (or from women, if too many ladies in heat spam you persistently by showing their genitalia, but strangely, that’s rarer). It might be a bit sectarian, but it has the merit of limiting the number of messages received.
We’ve deactivated this “anti-balls blocking” option: poor nice guys who were getting blocked in the process! Bottom line: among all the blue circles (blue for the boys) appearing in the instant messaging, keeping on one side the pleasant and cute interlocutors, on the other, the pleasant interlocutors who aren’t at all my type but still deserve a little reply, while getting rid of conversation attempts that don’t inspire us, requires an advanced sorting methodology — which we haven’t, apparently, found. Indeed, it’s not uncommon for us to realise, during discussions in a club, that a perfectly sociable and well-endowed gentleman had already tried to contact us on Wyylde, without us having noticed.
“Testimonials”
The big phobia when it comes to online dating is running into people with bad intentions, like Bonnie and Clyde or Francis Heaulme — or, also conceivable, someone who plans to run off with your television under their arm or discreetly copy your card details while you’re getting dressed. Another scary thing is the possibility that a person who is perfectly fine on the surface turns out to have mood swings that turn your evening into a nightmare.
Paranoia? Maybe: most people are socially fine, and are not serial killers who eat human flesh, nor collectors of little fingers preserved in salt. But you’re allowed to not want to take the risk. The risk of ending up chopped to pieces or having an awful evening in the company of unsettling individuals is nothing exciting. How to make sure it won’t happen, then? Thanks to “testimonials” on profiles.
Indeed, registered users have the option (but not the obligation) to publish “testimonials” from other subscribers. When it’s filled, this section naturally only contains exchanges of compliments, but what’s interesting is that “testimonials” are generally only done between people who have met “in real life”. A profile with testimonials doesn’t guarantee that you’ll click with its owner(s), but it’s at least a good sign as to their ability to be pleasant company for other libertins.
What about fake testimonials? (Yes, I’m considering all paranoid possibilities… If you meet me, watch your little fingers, in case I find a salt shaker..). Since you need to be a subscriber to publish one, building a fake profile solidly backed by testimonials from other credible fake profiles would require a certain budget and overflowing imagination, and for a person with bad intentions to bother with such an effort, when they have plenty of easier and free options at hand, seems truly unlikely.
Keeping in touch with people met in a club
Libertinage means meetings with a touch of anonymity to respect.
At a libertine evening, you meet a whole host of new people, with whom you sometimes want to keep in touch.
That couple you’ve just spent the evening with may be adorable, but you don’t want to hand them the details of the Facebook account you use to share photos of your cousin’s wedding with your entire family, do you? That young man was hot as hell and you plan to see him again, but you can’t quite decode his character enough to be certain he’s not the type to call his new mates around three in the morning? That young woman is fun and sexy, but you’re far too busy dancing with her to break the atmosphere by going to get something to write down a phone number?
The solution: exchange your usernames on a libertine dating site. It’s both anonymous and easier to remember than a number. For this, you need to have an account on the site in question, and your conversation partner needs to have one too. That’s where Wyylde comes in. In France, it’s most likely the most visited libertine site, and a huge number of libertins are registered on it, so much so that the question “Do you have a Netech’ account?” (which is gradually becoming “Do you have a Wyylde account?”, but we’re still used to the old name, which persists in conversations) replaces the traditional “Give me your number?” or “Are you on Facebook?”.
Finding out about potential outings
In a club
Whether you’re in Paris or the provinces, unless you live in a countryside village with only cows and sheep as neighbours, there’s probably a libertine club or several near you. To find out the themes of the evenings, clubs generally have a website. But a flyer announcing an evening of “bi women”, “threesomes”, “gang-bang”, or even “mojitos” or “apple pie” (for the last one, I made it up), that’s all very well, but it doesn’t tell you whether by going there, you’re about to find yourself at a massive party of a hundred people or in the middle of three perverts who are giving you the once-over while stroking themselves.
If you know the places, you already have an idea about it. But it doesn’t change the fact that the number of participants varies from one evening to another, and hugely influences the atmosphere. Whether you prefer to find yourself in the middle of a dense crowd or rather stay in a small group, it’s good to know what to expect.
All libertine clubs (or almost all?) have their Wyylde page, and present their evenings in the form of “events”. Clubs can send you invitations, or you can go and see for yourself which events are taking place in the area, with how many participants, and who those participants are. From there, if an evening interests you, you can sign up for it (it commits you to nothing, it’s just a way to announce “I plan to be there on such a day”). Not an unpleasant bonus, some clubs sometimes offer a drink to couples registered on the flyer (of course, an evening that shows many participants tends to attract even more).
Private evenings
When you have a somewhat active account, you also receive invitations to private evenings (i.e. evenings in a smaller group, in a venue generally reserved for the occasion, more sex-focused and less dance-focused than a club). I won’t go into the subject in detail as we’ve never tried the experience, but having discussed it a bit with other libertins, when it comes to private evenings, there seems to be a bit of everything, from very nice to very rubbish, and it’s important to find out beforehand about the organiser (make sure they’re known and reputable) to avoid bad surprises.
Conclusion
It’s not essential to have an account on Wyylde, or on one of its equivalents, to be a libertin: libertinage is a state of mind that can be lived in various ways, and everyone does what they want. But it’s a tool that can prove very practical for communicating on the internet between libertins, whether to get to know each other or to reconnect.
Edit: Some clarifications (and a promo code)
People from Wyylde contacted us after reading this article, and wanted to add some clarifications:
- About the subscription price: “Most dating sites, libertine or not, are paid. The price is very low, no segregation since we always offer a discount for former subscribers who renew their subscription, and prices ranging from Allopass to the annual subscription.”
It’s true that most sites are paid. All the more so for those that are at least minimally reliable. Otherwise, we’ve already mentioned in the article that the price doesn’t seem unreasonable at all to us, particularly in comparison to other services.
- “Alongside testimonials, there are also certified profiles: certification is a quality guarantee that allows you to improve the display of your listing, to guarantee that you’re a serious profile, and to greatly increase your chances of being contacted and making connections.”
Indeed, we hadn’t mentioned profile certifications because we hadn’t certified ours, and it slipped our minds, but they exist, and they’re quite useful.
- Fake testimonials: “it’s very very rare, because now it’s easy to spot fake profiles via the ID, or fake photos which we don’t hesitate to blacklist from the site.”
We’ve never been able to spot fake testimonials ourselves, so we’ll take their word for it.
- Traffic: “Wyylde is the number 1 libertine site in France, with 300,000 visitors per day and 2 million registered users.”
From what we’ve been able to see from various sites dedicated to traffic analysis, it seems perfectly credible to us.
We’ve also been offered a promo code for our readers :-) : WYYLDE2017, which allows you to get 7 days of free subscription on Wyylde.
